Life of David - Lesson 36

Joab Getting Back - 2 Samuel 20:4-26

Prayer: Lord, today we're going to see one of David's loyal men being disloyal not only to David but to You.  Help us Lord not to let anger and resentment get a foothold in our lives, even though revenge may seem to get us what we want it is never the right answer.  Help us to seek to love & live at peace with our fellow man, even those who are in opposition to all we hold dear.

Quickly Form Groups:

1.  Why should we never take action when we're angry?  Come up with real-life examples of what can go wrong.

Since Absalom's rebellion David's kingdom is a mess, and he's been attempting to regain loyalties & broker peace... but there's at least one guy who doesn't want peace with David, his name is Sheba and he's leading a rebellion.  When last we left the narrative of David's life he was going through the process of returning to the palace after living in exile in Mahanaim, and that was a time for making peace - not for chasing down a rebellion.  Amasa is now David's primary general, he was formerly Absalom's general but now has replaced Joab as David's primary general, and Amasa is about to get his first assignment.  Lest we forget, these guys are family, Joab & Amasa are full cousins & are sons of two of David's half-sisters (David's nephews).

2 Samuel 20:4-5 - David sends Amasa out to summon the troops, specifically the troops of the tribe of Judah.  David asked Amasa to be back in 3 days, but Amasa didn't get back in time.  At this point David has to be wondering if Amasa is happy with his new position as the primary general of David's army, having just previously been the primary general over Absalom's army.  We don't know what David is thinking at this point, but we do know that David still needed to deal with Sheba & the men that joined in his rebellion, and Amasa hasn't returned with the troops.

2 Samuel 20:6-7 - David decides not to wait any longer before dealing with Sheba, and decides to send his own personal troops out under the leadership of Abishai (another of David's generals & Joab's brother).  He sends Abishai & the troops out to pursue Sheba, trying to prevent Sheba from gaining a foothold in Israel.  The men normally assigned to Joab, and Joab himself, are heading out under Abishai.  Joab is still not being named as the leader - this confirms to me that David is upset with Joab.  I believe David knew or suspected Joab's involvement in Absalom's death, though it's possible there was some other issue.  These two brothers, Joab & Abishai, have both been serving David as generals for a very long time.  Of the two Joab appears to be the more aggressive, more impulsive, and more hot-headed.  This smaller force (not the full troops of Judah) that is setting out is most likely the force known as David's "Mighty Men" - we've talked about them previously, they've been with David since his years on the run from (former) King Saul - we'll learn more about these men in a lesson coming up in a couple weeks.

2 Samuel 20:8-10 - Remember how I said Joab was aggressive & a bit of a hot-head, we see it here.  David had put Amasa over his troops as a means of reuniting the kingdom, Joab doesn't care.  Joab has no respect for Amasa, probably considers him a traitor, and definitely considers him a personal enemy.  Amasa has done nothing wrong since becoming David's primary general - except being late, there are no reasonable grounds for this action - Joab is simply exacting his own personal revenge.  Lest you think I'm being hard on Joab, I'm going to remind you that this isn't the first time Joab has acted in this manner.  Joab also murdered Abner in another act of revenge:

Abner had been King Saul's primary general, and David had been trained up and served under Abner before he was forced to flee for his life from King Saul.  After Saul's death, but before the nation had been united under David, there had been a battle between David's men & Israel's army.  During this battle another of Joab's brothers, Asahel, had relentlessly pursued Abner & wouldn't turn away (though Abner begged him to).  Abner later realized how David would be a better king for Israel than the son of Saul who was sitting on the throne, so Abner & his troops voluntarily allied themselves with David.  Abner, at the same time, got the heads of the families of Israel to also give their allegiance to David as king.  Abner had successfully brokered a peaceful uniting of all Israel under David as King, but all Joab could see is the man who killed his brother in battle - so Joab killed Abner.

So Joab pretends to be a friend, greeting Amasa as if with a kiss, but instead guts him (it's a grotesque & graphic scene).  Once again Joab has committed murder, this time murdering his cousin, David's nephew, and the current primary general of David's forces.

2 Samuel 20:11-13 - Abishai & Joab continue on their way in pursuit of Sheba, but it's interesting that this time Joab's name is listed first - the implication of which is that Joab is back in charge.  If that's not enough, one of Joab's men is encouraging the troops to rally behind Joab, basically equating loyalty with Joab to loyalty to David.  These aren't just the troops that have come with Abishai, these are also the troops that arrived with Amasa, so we shouldn't be surprised at their hesitation as they come across the murdered body of Amasa - were they perhaps concerned for their own lives?  In any case, the body is causing the troops to hesitate, so the body is removed from the road & covered, and the troops head off with Joab to pursue Sheba.

2 Samuel 20:14-16 - So Sheba has been working his way through Israel, gathering men to himself.  Sheba has settled himself and his troops in Abel Beth Maacah (or Beth Maacah in the area of Abel), a fortified city in Israel (the location of which I was unable to confirm).  Joab & the troops of David besiege the city,   build a siege ramp against the outer fortifications, and were beginning to batter their way into this fortified city in order to get to Sheba.  The people in Beth Maacah were probably wanting nothing to do with having their city walls breached, and a wise woman of the city calls out to the troops that she wants to speak to Joab.  The people of Israel would have been used to Joab being the general in charge of David's army, so it's not too surprising that she asked for Joab by name.  Normally a woman wouldn't take a lead role like this, so she must have been a special woman that was trusted by the people of Beth Maacah - and the scriptures record she was wise.  I want to point out that she's a woman, because culturally this is a bit of a big deal, in those days women were considered property, not leaders or spokespersons - so she must have been exceptional.

2 Samuel 20:17-19 -  Joab comes forward, and the woman doesn't recognize him, so she verifies she's talking to the right guy.  Then she humbly requests he listen, a good move on her part.  Joab is taking the time to listen to a woman, this is pretty amazing considering his personality, so I'm even more impressed - this is one woman I'd like to meet & hope she's in heaven so I can get to know her in eternity.  She reminds Joab that the area of Abel is an area known where people could seek answers from God, a place that is known for being peaceful, and a town that has been faithful to Israel.  The town isn't part of this rebellion, the town wants to continue it's role as being a "mother" - a nurturing society in Israel.  So she asks Joab outright what he's up to, what he's got against their city - I'm guessing that Sheba's presence, or his intentions, may not have been common knowledge within the city.

2 Samuel 20:20-21 - Joab responds with a clear purpose, he knows there's no point in destroying a strong city - that would just weaken Israel as a whole.  Joab makes it clear that all he wants is this one man Sheba handed over, he makes it clear that Sheba is a traitor to David's throne, and promise to withdraw is Sheba is handed over.  The woman, now with a clear picture of the problem, and knowing the people of her city, promises that she'll set that Sheba's head is thrown over the wall.

2 Samuel 20:22 - The woman goes around and speaks with the people of her city, advising them to throw Sheba's head over the wall, and they take her advice.  This is obviously a city that wants no part of harboring a traitor, they don't want to be caught in the middle of a conflict, they want peace.  They cut off Sheba's head & toss it over the wall to Joab, Joab sounds the trumpet & ends the pursuit - the men of Judah's forces all head back home, and Joab leads the king's forces back to Jerusalem.

2 Samuel 20:23-26 - These last few verses almost feel like a footnote, but it gives credit by name to some of David's loyal men & priests.  The interesting thing here is that Joab is back as the primary general of Israel's army, and nobody appears to be questioning his position - not even David.  Joab doesn't get away with all his evil acts, they catch up to him eventually, but not until the reign of Solomon - this is another case (like Shimei in last week's lesson) where David, on his death bed, asks Solomon to deal with something by the special gift of wisdom God has granted to him.

Closing Prayer:  Lord we thank you for the wisdom that comes from you.  We thank you for the wisdom of this exceptional woman of Beth Maacah, and how she was able to broker peace for her city.  We thank you for the special gift of wisdom that you granted to Solomon, we thank you for your wisdom available to us through your Word, and we thank you for wisdom given to us through the working of your Holy Spirit in our lives.  Help us to rely on your wisdom rather than our own thoughts or emotions.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups Again:

2.  Think about situations or circumstances stir you up (your "hot-buttons").  When you realize that you're being stirred up what do you do to get your emotions in-check?  What might you need to do differently?

3.  Pray for each other.

Life of David - Lesson 35

The Rough Road back Home - 2 Samuel 19:8b-20:3

Prayer: Lord we thank you that you provide forgiveness & healing for our hearts and minds.  We ask that you help us as we strive to love & forgive the people in our lives that have harmed us, help us to do this as a response to your mercy & grace toward us.

Quickly Form Groups:

1.  Think of a situation in your life in which a relationship (family, friendship, co-worker, etc) has been broken.  What is your responsibility in the matter?  What steps should you take to try to rebuild? 

When we last left the narrative on David's life he'd been usurped by his son Absalom, taken his family & trusted troops & fled across the Jordan but left behind some who would provide him vital intelligence.  Then Absalom had gone with his army to find & kill David, but it was Absalom who was killed & his army defeated.  David grieved the death of his son, but recovered from his grief with the help of Joab (his nephew, general, and friend) to the point of being able to once again lead his people.  David at this point in the history is still across the Jordan, headquartered in Mahanaim, and now he is ready to head back home to Jerusalem.  There is a lot of repair-work that needs to be done, we'll see David start to rebuild the people's confidence in him & offer peace as he works through the process of restoring his throne.

2 Samuel 19:8b-10 - The men who had sided with Absalom high-tailed it back home.  The Israelites as a whole seem to be divided - some had wanted Absalom as king, but now Absalom is dead.  Those with some sense (perhaps the older ones with longer memories) reminded the others that David had been a good king, one who was victorious over their enemies.  I get the sense that they were using the argument that any king is better than no king, even if he's not the king you wanted.  As we continue through the next couple chapters its important that we realize that all is not well in Israel, it is a country with divided loyalties, this might help us understand some of David's actions on his return to Jerusalem.

2 Samuel 19:11-14 - Remember that these two priests, Zadok & Abiathar, were part of David's intelligence network, so David knew he could rely on them to do his bidding.   As priests it would be natural for them to be leaders in attempting to restore Israel, so as Israel's priests they are asked to call together the elders of Judah (David's tribe) to spearhead David's return.  David wants all Israel to see that though the trouble started in his own family (tribe) that his family was behind him.  Keeping with getting the family back together on his side, David extends a pardon to Amasa (his nephew, cousin of Absalom / Joab / Abishai) and offers to give him Joab's position as his primary general.  Remember that Amasa had been the primary general of Absalom's forces - so this is a "transfer" that will keep him at the same rank, this is a strategic move on David's part to attempt to merge the forces (his and Absalom's) into one & have them loyal to his throne.  I'm sure Joab wasn't happy about this (more on this later in the chapter), but this is the action taken by David that makes me wonder if word had gotten to him that Absalom had died at Joab's hand - that would help explain the demotion of Joab.  In any case, David's strategy seems to work, the men of Judah (his tribe) are now fully behind him & encourage him to return. 

2 Samuel 19:15-18a - David starts the journey home, and gets as far as the East Bank of the Jordan river.  Remember that the Jordan is a major river, and that it acts as a bit of a barrier, crossing the Jordan is no small task & there is a huge entourage that needs to cross.  The men of Judah (David's tribe) have come to Gilgal, near the West Bank of the Jordan, and are preparing to help David & his entourage ford the river.  His tribe is now demonstrating solidarity with David.  There are some others that also come to help, some of which are surprising:

• Shimei, the most surprising & most unlikely to help & want David, he is a Benjamite, has joined up with the men of Judah.  We'll get back to him in the next few verses.
• An entourage of 1000 Benjamites with Shimei - this is important, since the tribe of Benjamin is Saul's tribe - the family that had the most reason to resent David were actually being supportive of him.
• Ziba & his 15 sons & 20 servants - Ziba was the steward of Saul's household & had told David of Mephibosheth (Saul's grandson, Jonathan's son, who was crippled & being cared for by David) siding with Absalom.  Ziba had been loyal to David & had provided provisions for David & his entourage as they fled Jerusalem.  David had promised Ziba he could have all of Saul's household as his own because of Mephibosheth's betrayal (more on this later in the chapter).

2 Samuel (16:5-14 &) 19:18b-23 - I like this guy Shimei, he has guts & conviction, but he also has humility.  Shimei had been convinced that David had deserved being ousted by Absalom (and in actuality what happened was part of the prophecy given to David by Nathan in chapter 12).  David had not disagreed with Shimei at the time, and actually understood that the punishment of being dethroned by his son may have been at God's hands.  Now Shimei realizes that it was not God's plan to remove David, and he humbly comes to David seeking forgiveness.  Abishai, one of David's generals & his nephew, isn't in any mood to be forgiving but David has a forgiving heart.  David also realizes that in order to rebuild his kingdom he'll have to repair broken relationships & forgive & make amends, and this is but one step of many along the way.  Let's not go thinking that David is completely letting Shimei off the hook, on his deathbed he puts Shimei's fate into the hands of his son Solomon - David trusts Solomon's wisdom (given by God) in dealing with this man.

2 Samuel 19:24-30 - Now David has to deal with someone who has betrayed him, or has he?  Mephibosheth comes to meet him, Ziba had indicated that Mephibosheth had betrayed David & sided with Absalom, but we're left wondering.  Mephibosheth has the  appearance of one who had been pining for David's return, but we're left with more questions than answers.  Why didn't he go with David? He has an answer for that, he claims that Ziba betrayed him.  This leaves David in a spot, its really hard for him to know which of these men to believe, and so in order to keep peace he order's that Saul's household be divided between the two men.  I tend to believe Ziba, Mephibosheth seems to be laying it on a bit thick, but only the Lord knows the truth of the matter, and David handled it as best he could.

2 Samuel 19:31-39 - Barzillai, I like this guy, this guy came along side David when he was in need.  Barzillai is old, and this is a healthy reminder to us that God has a purpose for us throughout our lives.  Barzillai had provided for the households of David's band of refugees, given them beds & kitchen items, as well as provided food & drink.  Now Barzillai has come to say goodbye to his friend David, and I can't help but read into the passage a sense of sadness on the part of these two men at their parting - it's likely they would never see each other again in this world.  David tries to get Barzillai to go back to Jerusalem with him, to join him in his court, but Barzillai says no - he's settled and just wants to stay home.  Barzillai offers up Kimham to go in his place, this is likely his son (hinted at elsewhere in scripture), a younger man who could appreciate David's generosity & the pleasures of life in David's court.  David kisses Barzillai, this is a common eastern action when parting company with a dear friend, David pronounces a blessing on him & sends him home.

2 Samuel 19:40-43 - Finally David crosses the Jordan, and Kimham is with him.  All of the troops of Judah & half of the troops of Israel are there to help get David & his entourage safely back to the West side of the river.  But all is not well, there continues to be bad feelings between the men of Judah & the rest of the men of Israel (I get the sense that the trouble is between the troops of the two factions).  There is still a great deal of distrust, the nation of Israel is still divided, and David still has trouble that he will need to deal with - he needs to get these hot-heads all onto the same side.

2 Samuel 20:1-2 - This was predictable, one hot-head decided he wanted to be in charge & so he sounds the trumpet & starts a rebellion - and David has only made his way back as far as crossing the Jordan.  The men of Israel have deserted David, but his own tribe continues to back him.  David wisely doesn't pursue at this point, and instead continues on his way & heads back home.

2 Samuel 20:3 - David is finally home in the palace.  The concubines left behind were violated by Absalom (in fulfillment of God's prophecy to David - a prophecy given through Nathan) & can no longer be a part of David's harem.  It seems odd to us that he would put them in a house under guard, but we need to remember that this guard may have been as much for their protection as for the protection of David's household & throne.  David likely had children by these concubines, so in a way he's taking care of & guarding his family.  The women are provided for, but treated as widows, for the rest of their lives.

Closing Prayer:  Lord I thank you for David's example, how he worked to try to make peace and rebuild trust.  How he loved those who were faithful to his throne & attempted to reconcile with those who were not.  It takes a big man to take the risk & offer a hand of friendship to an enemy, and it shows an amazing heart that longed for peace in Israel.  Help us to be a people who reach out and love our enemies, as you have directed us to do.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups Again:

2.  What can we do with the Sheba's in our life?  How do you respond to those who don't want to heal, but rather want to tear things apart further?  As believers, what responsibility do we have toward them?

3.  Pray for each other.

Life of David - Lesson 34

A Short Reign with a Tragic End - 2 Samuel 18:1-19:8a

Prayer:  Thank You Lord for watching over our lives, for being the one who protects and defends us.  As we make mistakes you come along side and help us through, and as we face heartbreak you're there to pick up the pieces.  Please keep us from letting our human emotions rule our lives and cause us grief, help us instead to seek your wisdom and guidance.

Quickly Form Groups:

1. In what circumstances have you known people to be blinded by emotion?  What are the potential dangers?

In today's study we're going to see that David was not immune from being blinded by emotion.  David is up against his adversary Absalom, but this adversary is also his son, and he loves his son... this sets David & his men up for all kinds of potential problems.

2 Samuel 18:1-3 - David gets the troops in order, organizing them under 3 trusted men.  Two of the men are his nephews & have served loyally with him for an extended period -  Joab & Abishai (brothers), the third is Ittai - the leader of the Gittite forces who was in exile from his homeland & only a recent immigrant to Israel (2 Samuel 15:18-22), but had proven his loyalty to David as well.  David expresses his intent to join the battle, but his leaders convinced him it was too big a risk, and that he was needed to support their efforts from the city (Mahanaim).  David was a brave & valiant warrior, but was getting older - he may not have physically been able to handle the battle anymore, but he was certainly still a master strategist.

2 Samuel 18:4-5 - David makes a point of publicly commanding his three leaders to be "gentle with" Absalom, he's asking them to protect his son - but in doing so is also asking them to protect their enemy.  David loved his son, but his love for his son was looking like it might be his undoing.  I don't know if you noticed, but there's no indication that David sought out God's advice regarding dealing with Absalom.

2 Samuel 18:6-8 - This is a strange description of a battle, it started in a field but ended up all over the countryside & in a forest.  David's troops were victorious, they defeated the army of Israel which was not as well organized, trained, or prepared force - but certainly a much larger force.  There were great casualties, and this civil war has cost the lives of 20,000 men of Israel - David's own people.  Apparently the forest was a dangerous place to be in battle, and a place where it was easy to get lost & perhaps ambushed.

2 Samuel 18:9 - Absalom had been going through the forest, but was left dangling in a tree by his mule in the thick of the forest.  How ironic that his head, known for its beautiful abundant hair, is caught in the branches.  Absalom was literally left hanging, and couldn't get himself down.

2 Samuel 18:10-11 - One of the men reports to Joab that Absalom is caught in a tree.  Joab must have put a price on Absalom's head, this certainly wasn't part of David's agreement with his men, but apparently whoever killed Absalom had been promised ten shekels of silver ( valued <$80 today) and a warrior's belt.  I'm guessing that this price had been set before David's instructions to his leaders, instructions spoken in the hearing of the troops.  Joab is Absalom's cousin & David's nephew, Joab had been fighting alongside David & serving David for a long time - he was a loyal and trusted general of David's army - so what gives?  Perhaps Joab realized that David was acting foolishly & would endanger the kingdom if he allowed Absalom to live - we don't know his motivation, but we do know Joab was loyal to David's throne.

2 Samuel 18:12-13 - The soldier makes an interesting statement, he says he wouldn't kill Absalom if he were given a thousand sheckles of silver (worth about $7,280 in todays market - and of higher relative value then).  He'd heard what David had said, he wasn't going to raise a hand against the king's son - doing so would be considered treasonous & he didn't believe Joab would defend him if he were identified as Absalom's killer.

2 Samuel 18:14-15 - Joab takes matters into his own hands, he impales Absalom with 3 javelins through the chest, and 10 of his trusted soldiers join him in making sure Absalom was good & dead.  I don't know about you, but I sense anger & frustration on the part of Joab & his men because this seems to be overkill, they despise this prince who had been the cause of a great deal of trouble for David & his people.

2 Samuel 18:16-18 - Joab sounds the trumpet stopping the battle, indicating to all within hearing distance the the battle has been won, causing all of Absalom's forces to flee home.  The treatment of Absalom's body shows their disdain for the man, they threw him in a pit in the forest & covered him with rocks - this is not the burial normally given a prince, and it may have been a way of making certain his grave wasn't marked. 

Verse 18 mentions a monument that Absalom had set up in the King's valley.  Absalom's burial is ironic in that it seems to mock the monument he'd erected for himself, he'd set up a pillar of stone for his name's sake & now he's buried under a pile of rocks.  Absalom's reason for creating the monument was to be remembered, because he had no son to carry on his name.  Absalom is remembered, but as a painful footnote rather than as an honored king.  It is interesting that he had no sons, this would have been considered at the time to indicate that God's hand was against him since many sons were considered a blessing.

2 Samuel 18:19-23 - Ahimaaz wants to take the good news to David that the battle has been won, but Joab doesn't want him bringing the news to David - instead he chooses a foreigner, a Cushite, to do the job.  Joab knew that though news that the battle had been won was good, news of Absalom's death would upset king David.  David's reaction to the bearer of the bad news might be harmful, and I think Joab knew that Ahimaaz had been a faithful friend of David's & didn't want to risk his life.  Also there seems to be an indication (further along in verse 27) that a friend wouldn't be sent with bad news.  The Cushite takes off with the news, but Ahimaaz is insistent that he wants to go as well, so Joab allows him to run as well - and Ahimaaz knows his way & gets to David first - outrunning the Cushite. 

2 Samuel 18:24-29 - King David is sitting at the gates, still in Mahanaim, when the watchman sees the runners coming.  Because the runners are coming alone rather than together, and because the first runner is Ahimaaz, David assumes he's getting good news.  Ahimaaz delivers the news, at least the good part of the news, that God has been on David's side & that they have been delivered from their enemies.  That news is not enough for David, he's anxious for news about his son, and when asked directly about Absalom Ahimaaz avoids giving David a direct answer.

2 Samuel 18:30-33 - The Cushite also delivers the good news, but when asked directly about Absalom gives an answer that David dreads - telling him that his son, his enemy but still his son, is dead.  David is shaken, he retreats & mourns, wishing that he could take his son's place.  David is a father, yes this was his enemy, yes this was the enemy of his people, yes this was the man that was self-centered and would have been a terrible king, but this is his son...

2 Samuel 19:1-4 - Joab & the troops hear about David's reaction to the news & instead of enjoying their victory they begin to mourn for the sake of their king.  The troops don't enter the city victoriously, instead they come in quietly, like men ashamed, because David is loudly grieving his son.  This has to be disheartening for David's men, here they went to battle & risked their lives, and their king is not happy at their victory... this is a recipe for disaster.

2 Samuel 19:5-8a - Joab has had enough, he loves David & is loyal to David but he realizes that David is undermining himself - he is harming his own position as king by causing his troops to be humiliated.  Joab obviously was someone who could hold David to account, because he goes boldly up to him & confronts him.  David has a right to grieve, but not at the expense of the men who have risked their own lives for the sake of the lives of David & his family & his throne.  Joab is able to get David's attention, and David gets himself back into his seat at the gate where he should be as their king. I don't think David knew that it was Joab & his men who had killed Absalom, at least not at this point in the narrative, but there is an indication in the next section that he may have eventually found out.  Joab was faithful to David, and Joab was making certain that David remained firmly established as the king of Israel - even if it meant going against David's orders & even if it meant getting in David's face.

Closing Prayer:  Lord I thank you for the Joab's in my life, the ones that are loyal to me but don't coddle me, the ones that call me to account, the ones that help me see the truth in my circumstances.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups Again:

2.  Joab was in a tough spot when he went against the order of his king.  When is it right to go against authorities?

3.  Pray for each other.

Life of David - Lesson 33

Faithful Friends - 2 Samuel 16:15-17:29

Prayer:  Lord I thank you for faithful friends, especially for those who support behind the scenes and may not get acknowledged.  Bless them in a special way this day.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups:

1.  Think of one faithful friend who does things behind the scenes that show love & support for you, and does so without asking or expecting to be recognized.  Share a bit about that friend.  What can you do to express your love and gratitude for their friendship?

I hope you were able to think of at least one faithful friend.  I am in the unenviable position of living in a region in which I didn't grow up, and in which I did not attend school.  I moved here in my mid-30s, leaving all of my friends & family (except my son) behind.  As a result I can honestly say I don't have a person at this point in my life that I can call my best friend - I have in the past, but I don't now.  This sometimes leaves me sad & feeling all alone, but then I stop and ponder & realize I have some wonderful faithful friends - I'm not their best friend & likely never will be, but I am loved & supported by these friends.  I'm going to tell you about my faithful friend Phyllis, and she'd probably be embarrassed knowing I'm telling about her, but she really stands out lately.  When the Tuesday morning ladies class this fall needed a new administrator I asked Phyllis (she has the right skills) & she said yes - helping all the teachers (not just me).  When I needed hostesses for an event at my home last week & asked Phyllis she again said yes.  And if she's in town & I need to be away for more than a few days guess who always comes through as a cat sitter for me... that's right, Phyllis.  Phyllis retired this last Summer, and having gone through that myself I've made a point of trying to be supportive of Phyllis as she finds her way in this new era of her life, my prayer is that I would be a faithful friend for her as well.

In todays lesson we're going to see how David's faithful friends show him love and support in this time of great need, many go unnamed but not forgotten - God knows who they are & how they blessed David.

2 Samuel 16:15-19 - Absalom is able to come in and take over Jerusalem without a fight, bringing Ahithophel with him.  Ahithophel had been one of David's trusted advisors, now he is betraying David by siding with Absalom.  But fear not, one of David's faithful friends, Hushai, is here to greet Absalom as he takes over as king - Hushai is also one of David's trusted advisors & is part of an espionage team David has set in place while he's in exile.  Absalom is a little suspicious of Hushai, but Hushai manages to convince him that he's there to serve Absalom now.

2 Samuel 16:20-23 - Absalom is trying to establish his position as king, and Ahithophel advises him to do so by sleeping with the concubines King David left behind to care for the palace.  Though this was sound strategic & political advice, this is not something God would approve of.  Sometimes we too may get advice that is sound for the purposes of finance, position, business or the like - no matter how sound the advice, we need to always ensure that taking that advice doesn't go against God's ways.  No profit in this world is worth a loss in eternity.  Apparently Absalom thought this was good advice & did as Ahithophel advised - Ahithophel had a reputation of providing sound advice.  In doing this one of Nathan's prophecies against David was fulfilled (2 Samuel 12:11b) that "...I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight".

2 Samuel 17:1-17:4 - Ahithophel continues to give Absalom sound strategic advice, this time about how to best defeat David & return the people who had gone with him.  Ahithophel basically says take a sizable group, 12 thousand men, but don't bother trying to defeat all of David's army, simply target David himself - if you strike David down the people will flee & you won't need to engage David's army.  This is shrewd advice, it's not a contest to see who's army is stronger - this is their own people! 

2 Samuel 17:5-6 - Absalom decides to take advantage of Hushai's service & get a second opinion.  Can you see God at work yet?  Absalom is unwittingly exposing Ahithophel's strategy & allowing himself to be re-directed by someone who has David's best interests at heart.

2 Samuel 17:7-14 - As a reminder from last week, though both Hushai & Ahithophel had been David's advisors, Hushai had been David's most trusted advisor - Absalom knows this.  Hushai undermines Ahithophel's advice, he reminds Absalom that daddy David & his men are experienced successful fighting men, and raises doubts about the ability of this force of 12 thousand in going and killing David.  But Hushai doesn't stop there, after undermining Ahithophel's advice he gives a completely new strategy for Absalom to consider, one that involves a much larger force - he is advising Absalom to go "all in", to use all force at his disposal, and in this way to guarantee success by sheer numbers.

What I find interesting about Hushai's advice is that it sounds humanly sound, and so Absalom & his men take it and consider it better than Ahithophel's.  What Absalom & his men fail to realize is that God is also in the equation, and that no amount of sheer number of human forces is going to win against God.  Absalom is risking much more by taking Hushai's advice, more of his men could be harmed & thus his reputation & strength could be more greatly undermined.  God used David's faithful friend to undermine David's betrayer & to defeat Absalom.

2 Samuel 17:15-16 - Faithful Friends #2 & 3 - Zadok & Abiathar the priests were also left behind by David as part of his espionage network, and Hushai goes to them to get a message sent to David.  Basically he's giving David a heads-up that Absalom is on his way, and advises him to get his entire entourage across the Jordan.  The Jordan river could be crossed, but only with time & effort - if David and his entourage didn't cross the Jordan they'd be trapped up against it as Absalom and his troops arrived.

2 Samuel 17:17-20 - Faithful Friends #4 & 5 - Jonathan & Ahimaaz the sons of the priests, as well as an unnamed faithful servant girl (Faithful Friend #6), are set up to get and pass the message along to David.  At some point in the process this little part of the espionage team gets exposed and a second betrayer, this time an unnamed young man, tells Absalom that something is amiss with Jonathan & Ahimaaz (J&A).  Realizing they are in danger, J&A exit quickly and take refuge at the home of Faithful Friends #7 & 8 - an unnamed man of Bahurim & his unnamed wife.

The couple in Bahurim had a well, and had wisely built their home around the well, forming a courtyard that provided it protection.  I'm guessing that it wasn't common knowledge beyond their circle of family & friends that they had a well, but J&A knew about it and were able to hide there.  The wife pulled the cover over the well, they frequently had covers for wells since they were typically a hole in the ground (no little wall around it like you see in picture books) & you wouldn't want a person or animal to fall in accidentally.  To hide the well the woman simply spread out some grain, making it look as if she were getting ready to work the grain in her courtyard & providing ideal camouflage for the well.

An interesting side note: Shimei, the one who was cursing David & his entourage in Chapter 16, was from Bahurim.  I wonder if this was God's purpose in Shimei's actions - if Shimei were home, rather than following & cursing David, would he have told Absalom's men about the well?

Absalom's men inquire of the woman where J&A have gone, and she tells them they went off toward the brook - she sends them in the wrong direction, this results in Absalom's men going back to Jerusalem empty-handed.

2 Samuel 17:21-23 - J&A make it to David, they pass along the message, and David gets his entire entourage safely across the Jordan.  Meanwhile, Ahithophel sees that Absalom isn't taking his advice & assumes Absalom will be defeated.  Instead of waiting around to be condemned as a traitor Ahithophel heads home, puts his affairs in order, and hangs himself.

2 Samuel 17:24-26 - David moves his entourage on to Mahanaim, they will wait there for Absalom's forces to cross the Jordan & come after them.  Absalom appoints Amasa as his general, Amasa is cousin to both Absalom & Joab (David's general); he is also David's nephew from his older half-sister Abigail (same mother, who probably had been widowed & then remarried to Jesse, David's father). 

2 Samuel 17:27-29 - Faithful Friends #9, 10 & 11 - If you're like me sometimes these names can just seem confusing, but these are significant people and they come alongside David at this point to provide him and his entourage with much needed supplies.  Here's a bit more about these three:

Shobi - an Ammonite, the brother of Hanun whom David had defeated.  Apparently David's treatment of the Ammonite people had been good or we wouldn't be seeing the support of the brother of a defeated warrior.  David was a kindly king to the peoples he conquered.

Makir - this was the wealthy benefactor who had taken in Mephibosheth when he was in exile, before David had called the crippled son of Jonathan to join him in Jerusalem.  So yet another of those who had cared for Mephibosheth was siding with David (also Ziba in Chapter 16).

Barzillai - an elderly but very wealthy man, with family ties to the priesthood, and who supported David all through this period of exile.

David had a way with people, despite being a warrior.  Perhaps it was the poet side of him, the sensitive side, that allowed him to garner such faithful friends.

Closing Prayer:  Lord, we thank you for the gift of friends and for the love & support they give.  Lord help us to be a people who come alongside our friends, to love & support them, even if we're not acknowledged & even if our loyalty is not reciprocated.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups Again:

2.  When was the last time you were a "friend in need" to someone?  What was your motivation?  How did helping this person make you feel?

3.  Pray for each other.

Life of David - Lesson 32

Disobedient Sons & Loyal Friends - 2 Samuel 15:1-16:14

Prayer: Lord as we study your word today we thank you that you promise wisdom to those who seek it, help us to be a people who seek your wisdom.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups:

1. What kinds of problems are caused by lies - yes, even "little white lies"?

Absalom is back in David's good graces, but I'm guessing its been made known that he is no longer heir to David's throne, so he's going to take matters into his own hands.  2 Samuel Chapter 14 told us that Absalom was handsome, with an amazing head of hair, and appealed to the people of Israel - he was the A-List celebrity of his day.  So lets see what Absalom does with his popularity...

2 Samuel 15:1 - Two interesting things are happening here: First Absalom has provided himself with an entourage of bodyguards, making a display of royal pomp - this is not something normally done in Israel so perhaps he learned this while in exile with his Grandfather, the king of Geshur.  Second Absalom chooses to utilize horses, it is believed that he was the first Israelite leader to utilize a chariot & horses - there are a couple reasons for this: (Deuteronomy 17:16) God had decreed that the king of Israel was not to acquire a great number of horses, a king riding a horse was considered a king of war where a king riding on a donkey (Jesus) was considered a king of peace.

2 Samuel 15:2-6 - Absalom is handsome, he's got horses & an entourage, he's going out of his way to convince the people that he would be available when they needed him, he's campaigning to be a judge for the people.  He's a hybrid of a con-man and a politician, he's even doing the middle-eastern equivalent of shaking hands & kissing babies.  He "stole" the hearts of the people.  He is a liar & a thief, just like his father the devil.  If you think I'm over-exaggerating just wait and see what he does next.

2 Samuel 15:7-12 - Four Years!!  Absalom has been up to his shenanigans at the gate of the city, telling people what they wanted to hear & drawing them over to himself.  How in the world did David not have a clue?  Was David living in blissful ignorance thinking all was well with the kingdom because people weren't bringing as many problems to him?  How is it David's government hadn't gotten wind of what Absalom was up to?

So now he goes up to daddy the king and lies to his face, he tells David that he wants to fulfill a vow to the Lord when in truth he is hatching a plot against David.  He even claims he's going to worship the Lord, which is far from true.  I'm guessing that Abaslom is fulfilling a vow, but a vow of vengeance, perhaps made when he was under grand-daddy the king of Geshur - a vow to take the throne of Israel by force if necessary (but that is just my guess).

David sends Absalom away in peace, but Absalom isn't interested in peace, he's got everything planned out, and he gathers people in to his conspiracy against the king.  One person he draws to himself is Ahithophel, a wise man & counselor to David - this is a betrayal by a trusted advisor.  Ahithophel was Bathsheba's grandfather, perhaps he didn't like what David had done to Uriah, or perhaps he didn't like Bathsheba being one of many women in David's household, we really don't know.

2 Samuel 15:13-18 - When David gets wind of the conspiracy he chooses to flee, I'm guessing the servant gave him an extensive account of Absalom's actions & forces & that Ahithophel had gone over to him.  By fleeing David spares the city of Jerusalem from attack, and spares his family as well - all but 10 concubines.  These concubines would end up being the cause of the fulfillment of one of Nathan's prophecies (2 Samuel 12:11), when Absalom took over the position of king the concubines became his to take as he pleased - we'll see more about this in next week's passage.  The king still had many who were loyal to him, including some groups of foreigners who had taken David as their king, and they left Jerusalem with him.

2 Samuel 15:19-22 - David addresses the Philistine contingent, he is not expecting them to be loyal to him & releases them from any obligation.  But Ittai & his men have allied themselves with David, they want him as their leader, they must have seen something in him that they'd not seen in other kings (or at least not in Absalom), so Ittai & the Philistine contingent remain with David.

2 Samuel 15:23-29 - Later, as they passed through the countryside there are still many people in Israel loyal to David, and they wept aloud as he passed by on his way to the desert.  But then the narrative backs up a bit to tell us about some things that happened along the way.  Just outside the city, the priests had brought out the Ark of the Covenant & offered sacrifices while the people were leaving Jerusalem.  David asks the priests to remain in Jerusalem, stating that if it is God's will he will be back - the Ark is God's not David's, in the mean time he asks that the priests & their sons provide him with intelligence concerning Absalom & his forces. 

2 Samuel 15:30-37 - Still near Jerusalem, at the Mount of Olives, David leads a group in a humble procession up the mount to pray.  David's prayer is simple: "turn Ahithophel's counsel into foolishness".  (1 Chronicles 27:33) Hushai was there, another trusted member of David's court, his title from Chronicles of "king's friend" is the official title for the king's most trusted advisor - I'm not sure why he would be a burden, perhaps he was quite old or infirmed (or both).  In any case David asks him to stay behind, to undermine Ahithophel & to provide intelligence to the priests to pass along to him.  David has effectively set up his espionage team, the gathering would be done by Hushai, and the transmitting would be done by the sons of the priests.

2 Samuel 16:1-4 - Just a bit further along his way to the desert, just after leaving the summit of the Mount of Olives, another loyal man comes along.  We met Ziba previously in 2 Samuel 9, he was the steward of Saul's family holdings & had kept things in order while the family was in exile.  Ziba had been instrumental in brining Jonathan's crippled (grown) son Mephibosheth into David's court, and providing for him - doing so in service to both Saul's family & the king.  Ziba brings provisions for the king, Ziba would have been old & still needed in his service in Jerusalem.  When Mephibosheth was returned Ziba & his household had to step down from enjoying Saul's holdings as if they were their own, and become Mephibosheth's servants.  Now because Mephibosheth is siding with Absalom David grants all of Saul's holdings to Ziba, this will only work if David gets back his position as king, but it is a beautiful gesture on David's part to someone who has sacrificed for David's sake.  David had not turned his back on Jonathan's son, but Jonathan's son has turned his back on David.  Perhaps he was hoping that his family will be restored as the royal family - something his father Jonathan gave up willingly to David (1 Samuel 18:1-4).

2 Samuel 16:5-14 - One more person along the way, but this is not a loyal friend.  Shimei thought that God was punishing David, and Abisahi (David's nephew & one of his commanders) want's to take off his head.  David will have none of this, David realizes that what is happening may be the fulfillment of Nathan's prophecy, and that this may be part of God's plan.  David even says "the Lord has told him to", David sees God's purpose being played out in the man's cursing (Romans 8:28).  They continue on their journey & finally arrive, and thanks at least in part to Ziba's gifts they are refreshed.

Closing Prayer:  Lord, sometimes our families let us down, sometimes our friends, but Lord we know that you are a friend that remains closer than a brother.  Your Word tells us you will never leave or forsake us, for that we are thankful.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups Again:

2.  What makes a faithful friend?  Tell of a time when a friend stood by you.

3.  Pray for each other.

Life of David - Lesson 31

Brother against Brother - 2 Samuel 13:23-39

Prayer: Lord as we study your word today we thank you that your scripture teaches us practical lessons for our lives.  We pray that we would learn from both the good and the bad examples given in scripture, and that we would seek your help and wisdom for living in this fallen world among fallen people.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups:

1.  With which family member do you tend to have the most strife & why?  How might God want you to change in order to glorify Him in this relationship?

There is strife in David's family, David's oldest son (Amnon) has raped one of David's daughters (Tamar, his half-sister), and another of David's sons (Absalom, Tamar's full-brother) is hopping mad about the whole thing... but daddy David, though furious, apparently doesn't do anything about it.  This is a recipe for disaster... 

2 Samuel 13:23-25 - It's two years later & the time for sheep-shearing has come!!  Ok, maybe that's not exciting to you, but to an Israelite of that day it was a festive occasion - perhaps we could compare it to something like our Thanksgiving holiday that's coming up soon.  Either Absalom was in charge of the King's sheep, or had sizable flocks of his own, and the time had come to shear the sheep and celebrate.  Absalom invites all the men in the family to join him, all the king's sons as well as the King and the King's officials.  To invite family to join was not unusual, but to invite this huge family to all come is a very large gathering, so King David declines since it would be a burdensome for all the men to join.  Was David thinking that he & his officials were too old for all this?  Perhaps... This is hard labor followed by partying, something more appealing to a younger group of men.  Despite Absalom's urging David didn't change his mind, but did give his blessing.

Let's look a moment at the possibility of the the flocks being the King's sheep, since that makes the most sense with all the men in the family being invited. 2 Samuel 8:2 - the Moabites are subdued & bring tribute, but what is the tribute they must bring?  2 Kings 3:4 - The annual tribute Moab was to make as a vassal state was 100,000 lambs & the wool of 100,000 rams.

2 Samuel 13:26-27 - Absalom hasn't given up yet, in fact I think things are working according to plan.  What he really wants is to get Amnon to go with him, and the fact that he has to bring all the kings sons along is no problem.  The request may seem suspicious to us, but remember it's two years after Tamar was raped.  Amnon was the oldest of the sons & perhaps the strongest & most experienced of the bunch, he's also the "crown prince", the heir apparent, and as such he could join the celebration as the king's representative - this again makes a lot of sense if this is the King's flocks being sheared.  More hands would make the work go more quickly, and the more the merrier at the after-party.  David agrees & off his sons go to work & to celebrate.

2 Samuel 13:28 - But wait, there's a plot afoot!!  Absalom hasn't forgiven Amnon, and he's certainly not forgotten what Amnon did to his sister.  Absalom tells his men that he will watch for when Amnon is drunk from wine (at the celebration), and then give them the order to strike Amnon down.  He encourages his men to be brave & reassures them that he will take the blame since it is on his order that they are acting.  I'm guessing Amnon was a seasoned fighting man since they would wait for him to be somewhat incapacitated before he was killed.

2 Samuel 13:29 - Absalom gives the order & Amnon is killed.  The rest of David's sons may have thought that Absalom was trying to secure his succession to the throne by killing Amnon.  In any case they got on their mules, the normal mount for royalty in David's kingdom, and fled toward home.

2 Samuel 13:30-31 - In ancient Israel bad news spread faster than Princes fleeing on mules, because an errant report comes to David that all his sons are dead. Apparently others that had been at the sheep-shearing celebration also fled, perhaps they exited before David's sons left, and perhaps by horse (they were available in the area).  David & all his servants tear their robes & openly grieve, David is face down on the ground, utterly devastated!

2 Samuel 13:32-33 - Jonadab, David's nephew, the one who had helped Amnon trap Tamar, he is the one who clears up the matter.  Apparently Jonadab wasn't too happy about how Amnon had acted toward Tamar, since he seems to be in-the-know regarding Absalom's feelings.  He tells David that Absalom has been expressing his intention to kill Amnon ever since Tamar was raped.  Jonadab reassures David that his other sons still live, that only Amnon is dead.

David hadn't dealt with Amnon, and he hadn't dealt with Absalom's anger toward Amnon, the rift hadn't been healed, and so the price of inaction must be paid.  The "crown prince" is now dead.

2 Samuel 13:34-36 - Absalom flees, he knows the penalty for murder & that he is now family enemy #1.  The watchman sees men coming from a distance, Jonadab points out to David that this is his sons returning.  Indeed it is the kings sons, they come in wailing loudly, and they and King David & the servants bitterly grieve.  The sword would not depart from David's house (prophesied in 2 Samuel 2:10), and it is cutting David's family deep in the heart.

2 Samuel 13:37 - Absalom fled to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur.  As soon as I read this I was wondering "why kind of king is this?" & "why did Absalom flee to this particular king & country?"  2 Samuel 3:3 - Absalom flees for protection to his Maternal Grandfather.  Grandpa would have been likely to be sympathetic, this is his grandson who was avenging his granddaughter, and avenging her against someone (Amnon) that wasn't one of his own family.

2 Samuel 13:38-39 - Absalom stays in Geshur for three years.  David longs for his son Absalom, perhaps he realizes that Absalom had worked out the justice for Tamar that he himself had failed to do.  David was consoled regarding Amnon, his grief had dissipated.  Sometimes we judge David because of his inaction, after all he's the king & should be upholding justice not only in the land but in his family.  But David is also a Dad, and you never stop loving your kids even if they make big mistakes or are scoundrels.  David seems to have come to terms with Amnon's death and forgiven Absalom.

Closing Prayer:  Lord God, help us to forgive those who hurt us, help us to forgive those who hurt the ones we love.  Lord please keep us from letting anger eat us up within until it lashes out with dire consequences.  Amen!

Read through 2 Samuel 14 as a preparation for the next lesson.

Quickly Form Groups Again:

2.  Anger is not sinful in itself, but can lead to sinful actions.  When is anger not sinful?  What is God's purpose in the emotion we call anger?  Discuss the dangers of "stuffing" your anger.  Discuss the dangers of readily lashing out in anger.

3.  Pray for each other.

Life of David - Lesson 30

Trouble with David's Children - 2 Samuel 13:1-22

Prayer: Lord sometimes your Word contains things that are difficult for us to process, painful things, but it reminds us that this life is painful & that your Word is truth.  Help us to work through this painful passage, and help us to be compassionate to those who have suffered deep hurt at the hands of others.  We may not be able to understand the pain another has faced, but we must be ready with listening ears & loving ways.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups:

1.  I want you to think of a time when you or someone close to you was deeply hurt at the hands of another (don't share, just think back). When dealing with deep hurts what helps & what doesn't help?

In our last lesson David was given 3 levels of prophetic consequences for his sin with Bathsheba, one of which occurred almost immediately.  In this lesson we begin to see the other consequences begin to play out.  Many commentators maintain that the reason these things happen are due to David's many wives & concubines, something that puts him in a position of compromise to God's pure ways.  Add to this his own failings concerning Bathsheba, and the result is that David has undermined his own authority within his family to hold his children accountable for their sins.

A bit about David's family at this point, at this point he has at least 8 wives & an unknown number of concubines.  David eventually has at least 17 sons, though there are probably many more than that, and an unknown number of daughters.  Presumably the children were each raised by their own mothers, and dear old dad David probably had little time to interact with all his children.

David's children in this passage are the following:

• Amnon, a son of Ahinoam (wife #2) & David's oldest son
• Tamar, a daughter of Maacah (wife #4) - 1/2 sister to Amnon
• Absalom, a son of Maacah - Tamar's full brother

2 Samuel 13:1 - When we read just this one verse we run into a couple possible misunderstandings:

• First, there would have been no problem with a romance & marriage between these two in those days - they were not full siblings, probably raised in two different households by two different mothers & this sort of thing was not uncommon.  Some commentators say that this was "wrong" because it was incestuous, but the scripture does not support that view, so we need to make sure not to rush to judgement.  After all Abraham "the friend of God" & first of the patriarchs was married to Sarah, his half-sister.
• Second, we need to be careful with the word "love".  This particular Hebrew word for "love" has a few possible meanings, and we shouldn't assume this was any sort of pure innocent care or devotion, as we read the following verses I think this will become clear.

2 Samuel 13:2 - Amnon's feelings for Tamar seem to be a combination of desire & obsession, and apparently all his efforts to seduce her had gone unfulfilled.  The passage tells us Tamar is a virgin, and this is important for a variety of reasons we'll discuss as we continue.  We were told in verse 1 that she was beautiful, and knowing she's a virgin we can assume she is young - perhaps a teenager. From the tone of the passage I'm certain Amnon is not a virgin, in fact he may be as old as in his 30s & is probably a seasoned warrior since he was born in Hebron (2 Samuel 3:2), born when David was ruling over Judah & before he was ruling over all Israel.  At this point Amnon may already have had concubines or wives, but we don't know - at the very least we'll see later that he has his own house & servants & doesn't live in the palace.

2 Samuel 13:3-5 - Amnon is close with his cousin Jonadab, and Jonadab is described as "shrewd".  I'm guessing that these two have gotten into lots of mischief together - not surprising for cousins who are close friends.  Jonadab finds out what is causing Amnon to look "haggard" in the mornings, and comes up with a plan to help Amnon seduce Tamar.

2 Samuel 13:6-7 - Amnon sets the plan in motion, he pretends to be ill & asks his dad (King David) to send his half-sister Tamar to come make him some bread & feed him.  Ok, David isn't dumb, I'm sure he knew that Amnon was attracted to Tamar, and I think he probably was happy to encourage this budding romance - after all, a marriage between the two was not out of the question & Tamar was eligible to be married.  David sends word for Tamar (still living in the palace) to go to Amnon's house & make him some food.  Keep in mind that this is not a strange request, the wives & daughters of the king had special privileges but they were women living in a day when women answered to the men in their lives.  I think it's interesting also that women in these positions at this time in Israel weren't catered to hand & foot, they were expected to contribute their domestic skills for the good of the family.

2 Samuel 13:8-10 - Tamar has obediently gone to Amnon's house, and made some bread while he watched.  She's not stupid, she knows Amnon is interested because verse 2 indicates he's made advances previously.  I'm wondering if she was feeling honored & excited, was Amnon going to ask for her hand?  Marriage to Amnon was probably what she hoped for, it would have kept her close to home, near her family & not married off for political gain; additionally, marriage to Amnon would mean that she might be in line to be Israel's queen (Amnon was David's oldest son).

Tamar takes the bread & serves it (perhaps on a table), but he won't eat, and instead sends everyone else away.  She's not afraid of him, when he asks she takes the bread to him at his bedside.   What is Tamar thinking at this point?  Perhaps she thinks he is not wanting his physical weakness to be seen by all (she believe's he is sick).  Is she hoping he's going to state his intentions & declare his love for her?

2 Samuel 13:11 - Can you imagine how startled Tamar must have been?  She probably had all these romantic imaginations, and Amnon just wants to fulfill his lust.  She's not safe here and she knows it, something in his actions or in his voice or his expression are telling her he's not interested in waiting, he wants her & he wants her right now!  This isn't love, this is lust.  Love thinks of the other person & doesn't put their own desires first, but Tamar is still hoping for love - I think that because of what she tries to get Amnon to do next.  This convinces me she must have been young, because she was still idealistic.

2 Samuel 13:12-13 - Tamar pleads with Amnon, she tries to reason with him - what he would do is wicked & shouldn't be done in Israel, perhaps this should read "shouldn't occur among God's people".  She's the daughter of the king, she wants to be married & not just a concubine.  She begs him to ask David for her hand, she knows her father would let them marry.

2 Samuel 13:14-15 - Amnon overpowers & rapes Tamar.  Tamar may have been in love with Amnon, but this is not an act of love on his part.  This is an act of selfishness & an act of hate.  At one time I thought Spousal Rape was something blown out of proportion, but now I personally know a woman who was raped by her husband.  In this woman's case the husband was drunk & abusing narcotic pain killers, but the act she describes was nothing short of selfish and hateful.  Despite counseling their marriage didn't last, mostly because he was hard-hearted toward her.  No means No, even if you're "in love", even if you're drunk, even if you're married... there are no excuses.  Amnon now hates Tamar, and he is blinded by his hatred & is vicious toward her.

2 Samuel 13:16-17 - Tamar is desperate, she's trying to make the best of a terrible situation, she's willing to stay on with him despite his hateful actions because she knows what this will do to her personally if he doesn't take her in.  No longer a virgin she cannot be offered by her father in marriage to anyone.  But Amnon is continuing his vicious behavior, he treats her as less than a concubine & he calls his personal servant to kick her out & lock the door.

2 Samuel 13:18-19 - Tamar is still wearing one of the special robes given to the virgin daughters of the king, these garments indicate that she is a special young lady, one that the king alone could give away in marriage.  She tears the robe, indicating that she has been violated & indicating her heartbreak.  She also places ashes on her head & put her hand on her head and wept aloud - these are actions marking one who is grieving.

2 Samuel 13:20-22 - Absalom attempted to care for his sister, he dealt gently with her & took her into his home to care for her.  Because Amnon rejected Tamar outright Tamar became "desolate", unable to marry & perhaps unable to be taken as a concubine as well (though that may have been out of the question for a daughter of the king).  David is furious, but that's all it says - it doesn't say he dealt with Amnon, it doesn't say he reached out to comfort Tamar.  It's possible that David just didn't know what to do, after all these are both his children, they are children of two different wives, what a mess!!Absalom hates Amnon & won't speak to him, this is a major family rift.

Next time we'll see what happens between these two half-brothers.

Closing Prayer:  Lord, sometimes when we hear about terrible things like this we want to ask "Why?", we want to make sense of it, we want justice, we want to know why you didn't step in and stop it.  Please help us when we ask "Why?", help us to see things through your eyes, and help us to see you at work even when exposed to the evil in the world.  Amen!

Quickly Form Groups Again:

2.  Share things that you find troubling that happen in this world.  Discuss how God might use them for his purposes.

3.  Pray for each other.